i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
