Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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