You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
