I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
