I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
