Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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