I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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