I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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