Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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