This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
