I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
