so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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