when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
