my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
