whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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