think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
