My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
