apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
