stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize