terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
