It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
