I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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