I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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