Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
