dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I DEMAND FORESKIN
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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