you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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