omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just want to make out with him forever
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
