I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
