You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
