that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
