Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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