dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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