Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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