Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me