I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain