so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis