I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
