her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
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