a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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