I hate all girls vehemently.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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