I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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