Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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