I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
