He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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