just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
