...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
