loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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