I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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