my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
