I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
