I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
