i jhust puked up my retainher.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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