we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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