He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
