Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
