Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
