you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
