just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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