girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
