Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
