I wannas sexs uuuuu
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
