i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
