i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
