If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved