i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
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she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
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Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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