Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.